Devastated!

demons invaded you, rage wrapped you up,
impotence consumed your peace.
It was unavoidable not to think.
Tranquility? was not possible,
imagining him by his side overwhelmed you.

Insomnia had become your faithful companion,
the pain was great, your soul cried, sought peace,
but you couldn’t find it,
in between drinks you were wondering why he does it?
although you felt empty you wanted to see them,
to know what he was doing next to him, doing you even more harm.
Desolate you reproached yourself…
What happened to love? What was my mistake?
You felt something was missing in you… You were no longer as young as she perhaps,
or your skin so smooth that it drives him crazy,
there was no longer a slender figure that he walked around with his hands.
His absence made you feel irreparably mutilated, sometimes wishing to have him by your side, even giving you whirlwind caresses,
but give you peace of mind,
just waking up from that nightmare, just breathing again was your longing,
as before, as always.
Did you love him so much?
Your denial of reality drove you crazy,
then one Sunday afternoon you walked non-stop,
something taken and exhausted from so much pain,
the demons were still there, stalking your peace,
winning the game..
Then with your life you decided to end, then for a man you stopped fighting, throwing yourself into an abyss, the sea where your body lies today, which you thought would make you rest, now you are no longer ..
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Dreams on pause…

With sadness you look in the mirror, you’re not the same anymore,
Your body’s changed, your skin’s stained.
Tight clothing has been left behind.
that beautiful, youthful figure is a thing of the past..
They were magical moments,
in that moment lived your heart was flooded with stars,
in your stomach fluttered the so-called butterflies,
a teenage passion you lived, then you thought you knew love..
But the dream soon ended and the illusion vanished,
Your heart’s broken, that boy’s gone,
your innocence, your purity, it’s gone, but he’s left something in you…
You see them having fun and you miss those moments,
you want to be “normal”, like before, parties, friends,
but reality hits you at times
and those around you remind you of it every moment…
You’re still a child but with a life in your belly,
fear catches you, uncertainty overwhelms you
resignation and responsibility are now your options,
dreams have been paused, only paused…
But you assume it, wipe your tears and look at the world,
It won’t be easy, you’ve been told, but you walk in front of life,
and prepare for his arrival,
you will fill him with love, you tell him that every day and it will become your reason for being…

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The work of a hero

Without expecting anything in return
love unconditional deliveries
when you take it with you
makes you vibrate with emotion.

You take that little
giving your best coat,
you give all your affection,
having in your mind a dream…

To be able to provide you with a home
an abandoned puppy
a life of hunger and mistreatment
you want to be in the past.

That is your daily task,
to rescue these innocents,
victims of many people
without conscience and feelings,
who have abandoned them,
becoming very helpless.

A still small space,
you seek to have at home,
food and a coat,
for you it is fundamental
leaving even your life
for them to protect.

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Thirsty for pleasure

Hearts that beat,
who sigh,
looks that want to stay,
a desire to feel that insists every day,
who doesn’t give up.

Thoughts, dreams, your perfume,
the desire to travel every centimetre, latent, implicit.
Because we both want it and we know it,
because the glances confess it, she betrays us.

We fervently await the instant
in delighting our senses,
in which our bodies come closer,
touch, take, unbuckle.
and burn with caresses.

The moment our breaths are so close that they fatigue us
and that the eagerness of our lips to feel is satiated,
because only a false step will make this longing a reality.
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That’s enough

Enough is enough!
Enough of darkening my tranquility,
turn off my light and chain my life;
Enough of mitigating my smile,
of your blows, of your anger.

Enough is enough!
Enough of fears and fears,
to silence the absurd,
of threats of quarrels,
even in a cruel and mocking society.

Enough is enough!
Enough of amputating my longings,
to steal my dreams and goals,
manipulate feelings, isolate my ideas
to assassinate my dignity and lessen my sorrows…
… That’s enough!

Enough is enough, because my words are not mute,
because shame has been extinguished,
because courage came out to be free,
and my self-esteem has survived.
Enough of that scream drowned out in my throat,
of impotence, of brazenness,
to disguise of Hidalguía
the pain, the humiliation, the damage.

Enough is enough … because the gagged feeling,
in the darkness of a bad dream has dissipated,
and vexation severed the purest love,
that woman, who one day had clothed us…
It’s all over now.


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Borrowed love

Even at dawn the day is dark,
the night almost awake
because you were only watching his dream.
You dress again with your rigid armour,
the one that tries to hide the pain and makes you look strong.
Plunged into helplessness
you feel that your life is there,
you look to the sky and to the supreme you ask for strength
you argue with her, you ask her why,
your faith vanishes, but you return in search of it..
You are her lap, her almohoda,
your kisses have the gift of relieving his pain,
everything will pass small! you say to him with certainty,
your arms become your greatest security
and the beats of his heart in your serenity.
You avoid sinking into a sea of despair but tears inevitably come, you feel a void in your heart, but you cling to a hope and look again to Heaven Where are you Lord?
You go back to his side, then you whisper to his ear: “A garden full of flowers awaits you, where you can run and be happy, I will go later and embrace you very tightly, never to let you go”.
An ephemeral smile detached his face, a sweet look gave some peace to your heart, but then a deep sigh fired hope, now his hands no longer squeeze yours, his eyes can no longer see shine, now dream deeply in that beautiful place.
It’s the darkest day of all, even if you feel that you don’t breathe and a burning burn your soul, even if the words of the world sound empty, even if you want to shout of anger and pain, you know that will pass, the calm will come to your life, because 5 years of love borrowed, showed you how warlike you are, mom.

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Wishes

                               

               

A warm look,
that undresses me as I pass,
I immerse myself in fantasies,
You take my mind to fly.

Me caresses without touching me,
and I don’t want to give up,
to live for an instant,
wins the desire to feel.

               

Waiting would be a torment,
my pores scream for you,
My body wants yours,
Don’t be late, come and get me.

An inevitable encounter,
led to the desired moment,
A kiss starts everything,
You got in my arms,
desperate caresses…

…the sweet honey from your lips,
your hands between mine,
between sheets we fight,
a struggle of dominion,
is unleashed, we don’t wait.

                               

               

Then you make your entry,
furious wild beloved,
I receive you between caresses,
My legs have caught you,
my breasts are yours,
like a desperate madman.

Totally shuddering,
my wet body trembles,
merged into one,
exquisite orgasm you have arrived.

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Thank you for reading me.

Some days are gray, others a little….For a world without homophobia

Some days are gray, some days not so gray,
one more race to beat, sometimes you take it easy,
others, anger comes first…
It’s like a never-ending battle,
you take a deep breath,
there you go again, you look in the mirror and you say:
“I’m like that, so what!…”
You go out into the world…. with a sense of security, of power;
but, deep down, you’re scared.
They bother you,
insults and jokes are part of the day at school,
the homophobic speeches of some professors,
Anyway, try to ignore it;
you only dream it’ll be different,
you only dream of a world that accepts you,
you only dream about everything being perfect,
so you can hold hands with that special guy,
but… you only dream…
In your boring history class, you think about your family,
Your father’s gone, Mom’s upset,
though it has begun to approach again,
but your brother seems to hate you….
“Maybe I shouldn’t have been born, I’m a mistake.”
Your eyes are clouded for a moment,
but you’re back to reality, back to your hard reality,
the tears are hidden again.
You try to smile, and you do, sometimes with laughter,
you pretend that everything’s fine, that you’re happy, but inside you’re different;
You hide your sadness, you feel an internal explosion,
You want help, but those around you are part of the absurd.
In the solitude of your room, think of that special boy,
but you don’t know what to do……
Think of Dad and Mom’s suffering,
you think about those kids on the corner, that corner you hate so much,
You think you’re tired, you know you’re tired, you think you can’t take it anymore……
And think again about that idea,
that demon that’s after you, especially when loneliness is with you,
Suicide is an option, have you thought about it?
But no, no, no, no, no! Then you get up.
The sun rises again, because not every day is the same,
the dawn tells you there’s a battle to be fought,
hope is still alive, society will be a less cruel day
and the dreams will come true..
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Was worth waiting for you

While I was waiting for you, only your absence came to find me,
My arms were asking for your skin,
my lips for your kisses
and my eyes by the glow of yours,
the intensity of the cold was distressing me
and you weren’t here to keep me warm.

You said you’d come back, but my hope faded,
I just wanted to look at you in my bed again
and no longer feel your absence,
my hopes and dreams were dissipating
turning into sorrows.

The immense distance opened a great abyss to our love,
and even though I was sailing in a sea of doubt, I knew you’d come back.
Although the years have passed and it is not the same,
I’ll still be there for you;
And if I didn’t meet you on your arrival
these letters will reveal my story,
every word, every drop of ink,
will translate my life into your waiting.
Then you know I’ve always had my eye on the horizon
longing for your return, among flowers in spring,
countless summers, harsh winters,
and dry autumn leaves.

Then you’ll know that even though in my reality you weren’t,
In my dreams I could touch you,
then you’ll know that the desire to see you clouded my gaze,
forgetting a world that judged.

And if you find me, don’t say anything, I won’t ask for anything. Just stay right here,
because I don’t want to leave this world without a cup of coffee by your side,
caressing your hand and feeling a warm hug that says it was worth waiting for you

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Gracias por leerme

Doggy love

Love, loyalty, transparency,
they fully describe you,
there’s no such thing as contempt with you,
the loneliness dissipates.
The warmth of your presence enfolds me,
and your wet kisses are my inspiration.
You are the essence of the purest love,
of friendship, of joy.
My little girl, my Pamela
Always there, always by my side,
talking to me with your eyes
expressing your fervor to me.
You can see my joy, you can also hear my sadness,
you soothe my pain with your hairy caresses,
giving the most genuine of a pure soul.
Never can love be so sublime,
Never can a love be so faithful,
I’m lucky to have you,
to know goodness,
and the meaning of love,
without waiting any longer.
She is my Pame….

pamelamascota

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The last image is of my property, it was taken with my Canon camera to my pet.