“Blows in front of the mirror.”

“One more day, one more night, the marks are almost invisible on my face, they have almost disappeared a little, it is true, I drown in fear although to show it would be to continue dying in life, it is better to keep quiet, not to say anything, my children are my life, for them I resist humiliation, for them I give my peace, I don’t care, only they, you won’t make me change my ideas, maybe I can’t…

Shhhhhhhhh silence! The monster is asleep, I don’t want him to wake up, I fear him, my soul is beaten, my skin, my body is no longer important, my dignity is no longer at stake, to be free, for what? I would find myself anywhere, like a hunter to his prey, it would make no sense….. shh, lower my voice, I can hear you, what? no! no! no! no! no! no! no, it would be absurd, don’t insist anymore.
Everything will pass, he loves me, I know, in his heart he loves me, I will wait for everything to go back to the way it was before, he promised me that he would take care of me since I was a child, only that he has been in my life, my hope is still intact, my children need him

.

I don’t want to go back to the room, that smell of alcohol bothers me, the stench of the cigar floods the bedroom, yes, I know, his clothes were crushed and stained with lipstick, but…. I prefer not to say anything, it is better this way, although inside the room anger takes hold of me, it is like a long tunnel where no glare appears, light reigns in the absence, yes, I live in darkness, sometimes I want it to end…… I shouldn’t cry, I can’t stand it, I can’t stand it anymore, I have to clean up, it’s knocking on the door!

He’s awake! He’s awake! Give me a moment! he doesn’t care, he gets upset when I don’t obey, he breaks into the place, he’s still drunk and very angry, I’m not by his side, he wants to see me. Forgive me, I won’t do it again!

He hits my face, almost without me noticing it, he does it again, the blows don’t hurt anymore, but my soul is destroyed, it’s upset, my eyes are clouded and my tears are winning the battle – “Don’t cry shit”!

I didn’t want to hear it anymore, I was just screaming! His strength threw me against the wall, I fell to the floor, not anymore! He keeps hitting me with his feet, my face is bleeding, I think it’s my mouth, maybe my nose, I don’t know, sometimes I think it’s better to die, rest, but, no! No! No! No! My children, they need me…I beg you on my knees please stop it, now! He stops, he finished….he lifts me up, he promised not to do it again, I believe him…

This is the sad reality of millions of women in the world, victims of violence, humiliated, physically and psychologically abused, some have the courage to denounce and get ahead, others prefer to remain silent and endure for their children, out of fear and even out of necessity, all of them prone to be part of the lamentable statistics of deaths due to gender violence. Don’t be quiet! Report it!

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