Effective communication? What’s your style?

Considering that any act performed by the human being can be taken as a behavior, human communication could then be defined as a set of behaviors through which human beings exchange ideas, thoughts, opinions, feelings, modes and activities. We could also define it as the means by which ideas are transmitted, being the information effective when it is clear, and the receiver transmits the message with the same accuracy with which it is sent. The transmission of this information is done by means of a message that has been coded. It is important to emphasize that this process of collecting, sending and interpreting messages will allow people to understand and express their experiences, needs and concerns.

Sometimes we ask ourselves if the way we communicate is effective, if our style of reacting and developing, or if our environment in all areas of our life, work, personal, loving is being the most suitable, let’s see then which is the style of communication that predominates in each one of us or we could also investigate if we have a combination of them.

In today’s world it is important for human beings to learn that there are at least three different styles of communicating with peers and superiors: assertive, aggressive and passive, which should be used consciously in the different situations that arise, asserting their rights as a person but without attacking others and without submitting to them, as this would result in the deterioration of interpersonal relationships.These styles refer to the way people can be treated.

The Passive Style: takes no action or, at best, as little action as possible. Not only does he not do anything to solve the problem, he does not even try to avoid it. Behind this attitude is a feeling of inferiority caused by the belief that one does not have to face the threats and therefore it is not as visible as possible to go unnoticed. It’s a non-winning attitude. Generally, this style of communication does not allow the person to openly express his or her ideas and in some cases allow others to trample or manipulate them without taking action.

The Aggressive Style: to manage people is active, but it is a behavior aimed at eliminating the problem by attacking and defeating the opponent. This behaviour not only fails to take into account the needs of the latter but even refuses to acknowledge the existence of a problem between the two. This style is based on the assumption that “for me to win you have to lose, since the only way for me to achieve my purpose is for you not to achieve yours”. It doesn’t matter how, or when, but he gets what he wants by passing over the other.

The Assertive Style: it does not adopt the upper style but neither does the lower one, it assumes that the two people are equal as such. Regardless of their hierarchical position, they are treated with respect. Assertive style recognizes that both sides have a problem that needs to be solved and that the best way to do this is to cooperate with each other. The essence of this style is that in any type of social system all its members need the help of others, they speak and express themselves frankly, express their desires and do not allow themselves to be manipulated or humiliated by anyone, know what they want and are aware that they can achieve it without running over their fellow man.

People can and are free to choose any style of communication in their personal interactions. At one end they can be extremely passive, while at the other they can be aggressive. The advantages of using an assertive way of interacting with others and avoiding being passive and aggressive should be kept in mind


“To communicate effectively, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this knowledge as a guide for our communication with others.”
Anthony Robbins.

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